How I Spent My Morning
Before I begin I need to let you
all know that there won't be any photos in this post. Recently we had
three weeks of over 40 degree Celsius (that's over 107 degrees Fahrenheit) days
in a row. Aslan was feeling the heat more than most members of the
menagerie so Graeme and I clipped his fur as short as we could get it. It
was a very unprofessional hair cut, and Aslan looked decidedly moth eaten,
but he was a lot cooler and as I told him, that was the main thing. I
also solemnly promised not to take any photos until he was back to his
magnificent self with a full coat of hair. So, a promise being a promise,
no photos today.
As I've mentioned previously
Aslan has perfect knees but wonky elbows. I mention the knees because
Aslan might feel self-conscious about the amount of attention his wonky elbows
attracts otherwise. Aslan is on twice
daily medication and I have been working away at getting the money together for
a rather expensive operation to fix his problem. It's taken a while, but
I now have the money ready to spend on my beautiful boy’s elbows. It's
taken me nearly a year to get the money since Aslan's diagnosis and I'm worried
that his hips are now failing as well. There is no way I can come up with
the money to have both his elbows and both his knees fixed, so Aslan and I are
off to confer with John, our vet, to see what he thinks of Aslan's hips.
Aslan was booked in to see John
today but he, John, had a family emergency and had to postpone the appointment
until tomorrow. So, seeing I had the time and it's a nice warm morning
here, I decided to wash both the puppies so they'd be a pleasure to have in the
car on their trip to the vets' tomorrow. We are taking both Aslan and
Cleo because Graeme got a ramp for the dogs as a Christmas present from the
kids and now that it's easy to load and unload two Saint Bernards (Graeme had
to lift each heavy weight puppy into the back of the car before he got the
ramp) Graeme is happy for Cleo to come out for a drive too. Cleo loves car
rides, regardless of where she ends up on the journey. Aslan loves the
vet and all his fans at the surgery so he too is always happy to get in the car
in case that's where we're going.
So, on to washing two large dogs,
neither of whom is a fan of baths. The first job is to gather all items
necessary for the ablutions. One hose with gentle shower nozzle attached,
one bottle of dog shampoo, one bottle of dog conditioner (Aslan's fur is
usually so long he needs the conditioner, and despite his recent hair cut,
his fur is growing back quickly), one bag of beef liver treats - very important
or it will be almost impossible to gather in the last essential component of
dog washing – Cleo and Aslan.
Both Aslan and Cleo are very
suspicious when I call them over to the clothes line, where the chain is
kept. Nothing good ever comes of being within snapping on to collar
distance of the end of the chain. Indignities ranging from being given a
time out to being made to throw up (because Cleo and Aslan happened to get to a
mouse bait that was supposed to be well out of their reach), to being
bathed. Not one of these pastimes is to their liking so treats and plenty
of them are needed to entice them to the chain. Thankfully Cleo and
Aslan will do almost anything for beef liver treats and so far they have never
failed to work.
One hint I can share with anyone
attempting to wash two large dogs outside – before you begin the dog washing
process take off any make-up you have applied because you thought you were
going into town that day. By the time I had two Saint Bernards in
pristine condition, with bright white and beautiful deep red coats, my
condition was drastically short of pristine. I was soaked from head
to foot from a combination of a faulty hose nozzle and big, hairy puppies
having a shake mid bath -usually while I was bent over close to them washing
some part of the dog. The cuffs and half way up the legs of my pants were
flecked with mud splashed up from the hose and my make-up, put on before the
vets' surgery rang to reschedule the appointment, was now in a very sorry
state. My mascara was running down around my cheeks and the eye shadow
smeared around a bit, giving me the appearance of someone stepping ashore after
a particularly harrowing dunk in the ocean. Yes, the mascara is
waterproof but apparently I rub my face a lot when washing the dogs - whether
in despair of ever getting clean puppies out of this mess or simply to wipe of
excess water I can't say.
Despite my back screaming not to
do it, I then cleaned the laundry of all dirty patches where the puppies rub up
against the walls and cupboards. I swept the floor and put their bedding
in the washing machine. It's no use washing dogs if you don't wash their
bedding as well. I kept the cleanest cotton blanket out so Aslan and Cleo
could lie on it while they dried out. I then transferred Aslan and Cleo
to the laundry, one at a time, by the simple expedient of holding the treat bag
in one hand and grasping his or her collar in the other hand. As I
mentioned earlier Cleo will do anything for the beef flakes treats and Aslan is
just a good, obedient boy who would have come with me anyway. Both
puppies were given a share of the treats along with my heartfelt apology for
the indignities they'd suffered. The
latter fell on deaf ears (or maybe they couldn't hear me over the crunching of
the beef flakes) and the puppies were left in the laundry to dry off. Drying
off in the laundry is a slow process I'm afraid, but with this drought my front
and back yards are just dust bowls where there is no garden - not a blade of
grass for the wet pooches to lie on. When Cleo and Aslan are wet and have
access to dirt they quickly take advantage of it and roll around in the dust
until they are well and truly coated, so the laundry it had to be.
The state of the nation at the
moment is - two well washed and pleasant smelling puppies locked in the laundry
drying off, digesting a large helping of beef liver treats and muttering
unpleasant thoughts about me (despite my attempts at bribery with said liver
treats), one worn out human who needs to lie down to recover and one
temporarily clean laundry. Graeme remained blissfully detached from
the whole thing, but will appreciate two clean Saint Bernards on the trip to
the vets' tomorrow.
Update: We saw John the next day. Aslan arrived at the vets’ in his new bib,
which attracted many compliments from his adoring fans (I’ve included a photo,
sans Aslan and Cleo of the new bibs).
Sadly, he agreed with me that Aslan’s hips are now deteriorating
too. John will ring the orthopaedic vet
in Canberra to discuss this latest development and ask if it’s worthwhile to
operate on Aslan’s elbows. John had two thoughts about this operation – 1. There most likely was no point now as his
hips will get worse to the point that Aslan will be suffering badly or 2.
Fixing the elbows may put off the worsening of the hips as his front legs will
be able to take more of Aslan’s weight and thus increase Aslan’s life expectancy.
You can guess which option I’m hoping
for.
Aslan's bib is on the left.
