Saturday, May 30, 2009

How to hug a baby Billy style.

When it comes to hugging babies, Billy has his own method. He can't brag that it's successful or wins friends, but he makes up with enthusiasm what he lacks in finesse.

Step 1: Billy spots a baby (or in his case toddlers. They are more thick on the ground - babies tend to be kept up high out of his reach). Spotting the toddler usually makes Billy stop whatever he is doing and do a double take. He seldom sees toddlers on Spring Rock, but when he does he's always ready to offer a paw of friendship.

Step 2: In order to get this friendly paw closer to the toddler, Billy makes a dash towards said toddler (hence forth to be referred to as the hugee). One of two things happen after this. Billy either fails to stop in time and knocks the hugee over or the hugee loses all confidence in the face of so much dog and jumps backwards on very unsteady legs, usually landing on his/her well padded bottom.

Step 3: Either of these results puts the hugee in the perfect position to receive some drool just prior to being sniffed all over in an extremely enthusiastic manner, while Billy professes his love and undying loyalty.

Step 4 (in theory only): The next step would be to do the proper St Bernard thing and help the hugee up, then proceed with the hugging bit, but for some reason Billy’s never been able to proceed to this step. He's discovered that toddlers, when knocked to the ground by large, friendly dogs, tend to cry and adults come running from all directions and remove said toddler from the love fest, thus removing any chance of the hug actually taking place.

This failure to follow through hasn't discouraged Billy though. He still tries to complete the whole mission each time a toddler gets within bounding distance. He's hoping that when toddlers grow up to be children he'll have more success. After all children are harder for adults to lift and remove.

Only time will tell.

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