How I Spent My Morning

How I Spent My Morning

Before I begin I need to let you all know that there won't be any photos in this post.  Recently we had three weeks of over 40 degree Celsius (that's over 107 degrees Fahrenheit) days in a row.  Aslan was feeling the heat more than most members of the menagerie so Graeme and I clipped his fur as short as we could get it.  It was a very unprofessional hair cut, and Aslan looked decidedly moth eaten, but he was a lot cooler and as I told him, that was the main thing.  I also solemnly promised not to take any photos until he was back to his magnificent self with a full coat of hair.  So, a promise being a promise, no photos today.

As I've mentioned previously Aslan has perfect knees but wonky elbows.  I mention the knees because Aslan might feel self-conscious about the amount of attention his wonky elbows attracts otherwise.  Aslan is on twice daily medication and I have been working away at getting the money together for a rather expensive operation to fix his problem.  It's taken a while, but I now have the money ready to spend on my beautiful boy’s elbows.  It's taken me nearly a year to get the money since Aslan's diagnosis and I'm worried that his hips are now failing as well.  There is no way I can come up with the money to have both his elbows and both his knees fixed, so Aslan and I are off to confer with John, our vet, to see what he thinks of Aslan's hips.

Aslan was booked in to see John today but he, John, had a family emergency and had to postpone the appointment until tomorrow.  So, seeing I had the time and it's a nice warm morning here, I decided to wash both the puppies so they'd be a pleasure to have in the car on their trip to the vets' tomorrow.  We are taking both Aslan and Cleo because Graeme got a ramp for the dogs as a Christmas present from the kids and now that it's easy to load and unload two Saint Bernards (Graeme had to lift each heavy weight puppy into the back of the car before he got the ramp) Graeme is happy for Cleo to come out for a drive too.  Cleo loves car rides, regardless of where she ends up on the journey.  Aslan loves the vet and all his fans at the surgery so he too is always happy to get in the car in case that's where we're going.

So, on to washing two large dogs, neither of whom is a fan of baths.  The first job is to gather all items necessary for the ablutions.  One hose with gentle shower nozzle attached, one bottle of dog shampoo, one bottle of dog conditioner (Aslan's fur is usually so long he needs the conditioner, and despite his recent hair cut, his fur is growing back quickly), one bag of beef liver treats - very important or it will be almost impossible to gather in the last essential component of dog washing – Cleo and Aslan.  

Both Aslan and Cleo are very suspicious when I call them over to the clothes line, where the chain is kept.  Nothing good ever comes of being within snapping on to collar distance of the end of the chain.  Indignities ranging from being given a time out to being made to throw up (because Cleo and Aslan happened to get to a mouse bait that was supposed to be well out of their reach), to being bathed.  Not one of these pastimes is to their liking so treats and plenty of them are needed to entice them to the chain.  Thankfully Cleo and Aslan will do almost anything for beef liver treats and so far they have never failed to work.

One hint I can share with anyone attempting to wash two large dogs outside – before you begin the dog washing process take off any make-up you have applied because you thought you were going into town that day.  By the time I had two Saint Bernards in pristine condition, with bright white and beautiful deep red coats, my condition was drastically short of pristine.  I was soaked from head to foot from a combination of a faulty hose nozzle and big, hairy puppies having a shake mid bath -usually while I was bent over close to them washing some part of the dog.  The cuffs and half way up the legs of my pants were flecked with mud splashed up from the hose and my make-up, put on before the vets' surgery rang to reschedule the appointment, was now in a very sorry state.  My mascara was running down around my cheeks and the eye shadow smeared around a bit, giving me the appearance of someone stepping ashore after a particularly harrowing dunk in the ocean.  Yes, the mascara is waterproof but apparently I rub my face a lot when washing the dogs - whether in despair of ever getting clean puppies out of this mess or simply to wipe of excess water I can't say.

Despite my back screaming not to do it, I then cleaned the laundry of all dirty patches where the puppies rub up against the walls and cupboards.  I swept the floor and put their bedding in the washing machine.  It's no use washing dogs if you don't wash their bedding as well.  I kept the cleanest cotton blanket out so Aslan and Cleo could lie on it while they dried out.  I then transferred Aslan and Cleo to the laundry, one at a time, by the simple expedient of holding the treat bag in one hand and grasping his or her collar in the other hand.  As I mentioned earlier Cleo will do anything for the beef flakes treats and Aslan is just a good, obedient boy who would have come with me anyway.  Both puppies were given a share of the treats along with my heartfelt apology for the indignities they'd suffered.  The latter fell on deaf ears (or maybe they couldn't hear me over the crunching of the beef flakes) and the puppies were left in the laundry to dry off.  Drying off in the laundry is a slow process I'm afraid, but with this drought my front and back yards are just dust bowls where there is no garden - not a blade of grass for the wet pooches to lie on.  When Cleo and Aslan are wet and have access to dirt they quickly take advantage of it and roll around in the dust until they are well and truly coated, so the laundry it had to be.  

The state of the nation at the moment is - two well washed and pleasant smelling puppies locked in the laundry drying off, digesting a large helping of beef liver treats and muttering unpleasant thoughts about me (despite my attempts at bribery with said liver treats), one worn out human who needs to lie down to recover and one temporarily clean laundry.  Graeme remained blissfully detached from the whole thing, but will appreciate two clean Saint Bernards on the trip to the vets' tomorrow.  

Update:  We saw John the next day.  Aslan arrived at the vets’ in his new bib, which attracted many compliments from his adoring fans (I’ve included a photo, sans Aslan and Cleo of the new bibs).  Sadly, he agreed with me that Aslan’s hips are now deteriorating too.  John will ring the orthopaedic vet in Canberra to discuss this latest development and ask if it’s worthwhile to operate on Aslan’s elbows. John had two thoughts about this operation – 1.  There most likely was no point now as his hips will get worse to the point that Aslan will be suffering badly or 2. Fixing the elbows may put off the worsening of the hips as his front legs will be able to take more of Aslan’s weight and thus increase Aslan’s life expectancy. 

You can guess which option I’m hoping for.

Aslan's bib is on the left.